Adventures in Motherhood

Just to give some background.... I am NOT a shopper. I almost never go shopping for clothes for myself, and not for some noble reason, just because I feel stressed the whole time. Well, out of sheer need, I had to go shopping for clothes yesterday. The need being that I have not been exercising for a couple months and so my clothes have gotten a little tight and I hate that. So, I took my two younger boys and went to get some new clothes. It started off okay, but then progressively got worse. As I was trying on clothes (and not looking great in anything) there was cute Bennett YELLING at the top of his lungs "Mom, you are size __ (fill in the blank with the size you would hate to be)! That's a big number! What size am I, cause you're a size __!" Over and over again. Well, whatever. I didn't care too much but it was stressing me out a little. Then, my chapstick was used to write on the mirror when I wasn't paying attention. Isaac proceeded to do a huge poo in his diaper, followed by Bennett saying he needed to go potty. We had just gone (for him I might add) and so I knew it couldn't be that bad... so I did something I usually don't do, and I told him to hold it for five minutes. I had 2 more things to try on then I was done. As I took off the second-to-last pair of pants and shirt, Isaac started crying. I looked down and saw him with the 6 card (my number of items, not my size unfortunately:) on his finger like a ring. It was so tight and his finger was already swollen around it. I tried to keep him calm and just slide it off, but it was STUCK. So, I got the ruined chapstick and tried to lube it up. No luck. By now it was bright purple with veins and what not and so I took him out... had to pause to get some clothes on (!!!) and then ran out to the woman at the front desk to ask for lotion. We used that and it didn't work, so I grabbed the scissors (to the horror of this woman) and cut it off his finger. He still has a red ring around his little finger.... so sad. So, I went back to the dressing room feeling relieved only to see that Bennett had also relieved himself... darn it. I got my things, checked out and left with a kid covered in #1 and another with #2. Sorry this is gross. By the way, I am never going shopping again with little kids. :)

Now I remember why I never buy clothes.